Tuesday, January 25, 2011

mid-life crisis

I never thought I would have a mid-life crisis. Who am I? Where am I going? That kind of thing, and while I do not believe that I have lost my sense of self, I realized the other day that my "baby days" are numbered. Amelia will likely start school this fall and Charlotte is already more self-sufficient than all of her siblings. And the next few years will roar by with the speed of a freight train.

And so I am looking at having an empty house with all the kids in school in 3 or 4 years. This has yet to happen to me. The kids are so spread out that there has ALWAYS been somebody at home. It is a truly weird thought.

So, the next thought in that parade is What Will I Do? Not like it won't be fabulous to clean without somebody following RIGHT behind messing it up for me! But surely that won't take up all my time. And so I find myself wondering what I shall do? Do I volunteer in the kids classes? Do I take classes to pursue another career? Do I get a job? Do I finally pursue some of my passions? Do I think I might get PAID for some of my passions? Do I suck it up and go back to education? Do I teach? Do I try to get involved in the educational administration to try and fix some of the glaring issues that have always made me crazy?

And then, this all leads to what will I do when all the kids are GONE? What happens when I am an empty-nester? Will I be an empty-nester? How will I know how much I need to let Elise go to find her own life? Will I be able to do what I need to?

My belief in raising kids has always been that if I've done my job right, then they will live their lives independently. It's actually my goal that I will have made myself useless...except praying for them non-stop...and as few "Love You Forever" trips as possible... :) But with Elise, I know that the fine line will be even thinner and will have to be handled even more wisely....

I doubt that I will find the answers quickly...and I doubt that you have any of them for me...but I just wanted to say them out-loud and ask God for a little help and wisdom here. I want to KNOW what he wants me to do. I want to find where he wants me to go. And I want to be able to do it with a good attitude. So, God, please start prepping me, please?

I'm listening.

4 comments:

  1. Tiffany,
    You are so wise to ask God to start prepping you, but it seems to me He already has. You seem to be on a journey to help other people with similar life challenges. Where that road will lead, who knows? Just keep following this path that you are navigating so beautifully and God will surely be your GPS along the way! I'm surely not saying that you won't go through some really tough times as an empty nester. Elise may/may not be there to fill that hole, but either way, God does help us to transition to new chapters in our lives and when we seek His help all along, He has plenty of time to bring us TONS of blessings on the way. You will most likely have lots of grandchildren plus your passions to pursue. Somewhere in there, don't forget to leave some of the time free just to relish the place you are in and to reflect on what blessings have already been yours. I have no doubt, you will be great at every passage of your life! Love you!

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  2. I only have a year-and-a-half before 'no kids at home' and it makes me very sad to think about it. Jason assure me that someone has to be the last one, I guess that is right? I have no idea what the Lord has in store for that chapter in my life.

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  3. The great thing about how we (us and you) have spaced things is, God willing, we will be grandparents about the time our nests are truely empty. There is nothing like a new grandbaby to make those empty nest blues fly away.
    I had a quarter life thing at 25. It was short, but I kind of freaked out about how settled and old my life was even though most my age were still in a party type lifestyle.

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  4. I know how you feel! Not in the empty nest thing, but in the where do I go, what do I do? Do I do what is safe and what I know or take risks by going after some dreams and passions of my own! I haven't blogged about it yet, but I have some major changes headed my direction over the next 6 months! I am praying for the Lord to lead and guide my path... I'll pray for you too! :-) It's both exciting and scary! Hang in there! :-)

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