When you are growing up, you say over and over again: I will never say that! I will never do that....!
Then you have kids, and there are some things that you stand by...and we hope do it a little better...learning from other's mistakes...and then there are THOSE DAYS where words that you SWORE you would never say, slip from your lips...and you realize that your mother was right. RATS! And, furthermore, you realize, that she was not only right, but she was wise and insightful...and even more, you WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HER...and you sit horrified. Terrified, you wonder how much else you were wrong about? Just how much of an apology do you owe your mother?
I never wanted anything as much as I wanted to be a mother...it was (and still is!) a huge goal, and measure of success, of my life.
I will be a successful woman, if I can look back over my life and see that my children love God with a burning fervor. If my children want to bite the tongues out of their heads as MY words escape their mouths, and realize that I was listening to God the best that I could in my mortal body. When they are independent and passionate about their lives and goals...and love each other enough to support each other and keep secrets from me....and tell me when they think "I can handle it". But most of all, I will be a successful woman when I can look at my children and see the verses I claimed and prayers I prayed still tangled up on them as adults. I will be successful when I can see that I did not get in the way of God's plan for their lives...
Thank you to my mother, who said the words that I kick myself over...and realize their wisdom. Thank you to my mother who showed me how to pray. Who told me that parenting was bigger than me...that I am just the voice that begs God to parent in spite of me. That shared with me the secret that I am the one who is growing spiritually as my kids do the physical growing.
Happy Mother's Day!