Tuesday, March 16, 2010


I am an introvert. I married an extrovert.

I was told at our premarital counselling that this may be a difficult obstacle to overcome. A book that specialized in premarital counselling even went to far as to say that we should seriously consider getting married at all.

I have since had extroverted kids....I'll have to keep you posted on how everybody turns out, but as of right now, I KNOW that Gabriel is...Elise and Amelia are, usually, but they have a sensory switch, where, sometimes they hit a "full" button, and need to get away., but then they will be fine to rejoin after 5 minutes. Charlotte, I believe will be a full-fledged introvert. She LOVES alone time. She basks in the time when all her siblings are down for the night...and is my first and only who seeks out her own room to play...no playmate required.

I got to watch my niece last weekend, who hit her full quotient pretty early into the party and had NO desire to return. It got me to thinking what really makes an introvert/extrovert.

This is what Wikipedia has to say: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion

...and while I looked at more than just this site, I was amused by the part where is said that introverts were not necessarily "loners", but that their thoughts and imagination were stimulating enough to preclude the need for outside entertainment...I'll have to go with that!

Ethan NEEDS time with others, to the point where he actually likes to go out to a restaraunt or mall or whatever just for people time..it acts on him like a happy drug. I have to drag myself to parties, I can hang with the big kids...but eventually, I have to tap out and sit in the bathroom for a few minutes...if I could stay home the whole time, I'd probably be okay as long as someone could get books and craft supplies to me...don't get me wrong, I like spending time with people, and really like hanging out with a friend and their kids, but much more than that, and it becomes work. After reading up, I am beginning to wonder if it is actually that my brain is too full.

And for those that say being an introvert is based in a lack of social experience...go watch my kids...I can safely say that it is not a "nurture" thing and more a "nature" thing!

What do you think you are? Do you think it is a Nature/Nurture area? I am curious what YOU think?


  1. I dated an extrovert in college and it was awful ...I hated going to all the parties and social gatherings. I am so glad I married an introvert. And we are praying Keziah is introverted as well ....so far things are looking that way. ;o) And I agree with you that it is totally a nature thing. I was forced into all kinds of socializing growing up with my incredibly extroverted mom and I always hated it.

  2. It is surely "nature," Tiffany - though, as you know, you can be nudged one way or the other, in terms of functional acclimation. That being said, some people are born to derive energy from being with people - while others must reenergize in order to enjoy their periodic soiree into social events. You've heard me say this - and will still contend, "introverts CAN look like extroverts" - they can be as animated and social as anyone - they'll just need recoup time ALONE, thank you, very much! Then, like you, they can sally forth with the best of the extroverts . . . Love you, my little introvert. . . Though it has been a well-kept secret until you announced it here for all the world to see! . . .

  3. OK. I've done it again! When going through the "True Colors" program, I sifted out equally in all colors except orange, the impulsive group. As far as being introverted or extroverted, I LOVE people and socializing with them. I love taking care of other people as well; however, I MUST have "alone" time to calm my soul, regroup, and to actually get things done. I work much better alone and undisturbed. Larry's hunting time is always a gift to me, especially since we are retired, because I get so much less time alone.

    Both of my sons are extroverts in that they love being with others, but they also love "alone" time to think and work. They both played very well with others as children, but they entertained themselves equally well. Both Matt and Ethan needed time alone to read or write, study, or just to relax. Their dad is much the same. He loves being with others but always chose work that kept him driving alone, at a computer, doing administrative work, for just as much if not more time.

  4. i think its mostly a nature thing, though, i do believe you can be trained to be less one than the other. i am an extrovert (as you know!) but as the years have gone on, i have become less of an extrovert...could be kids, jobs, responsibilites.... i do enjoy my time alone (to regroup etc) but do love being around people. i think you learn to adapt to your circumstances but i do believe that if you don't remain true to yourself, you could crash (ie: the introverted professor/speaker who is asked to be on all the time needs to recharge) that said, i also think there is such a think as an outgoing introvert and a shy extrovert. with my girls...i think i have one of each...i THINK!