Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Night Lights

Charlotte apparently is her mother's girl...She has slept horribly for what feels like forever...but on her daddy's suggestion and her grandmama's encouragement (weeks ago) I finally got her a night light last night.

She slept all night. I didn't have to get her up to feed her between 1 am and 6:30ish. For her, this is shocking. Really. She doesn't go for longer than 2 hours between snacks. I am hoping that this was not a one night wonder.

I was addicted to my night light. I have only recently parted company with some version, my bulbs are burned out. We have had little plug-in ones "to light the way to the bathroom"...since we got married. We had a while with a fica tree with white Christmas lights...it was beautiful til one night Ethan lept from the bed and wrestled it to the floor because "it broke into our house". Now, we've had incidents that SHOULD have woken him up, but no dice... I will say the fica never looked quite the same.

I have an Active Imagination. (Code=random things scare me and these things are worse than they need to be) When I was little I would stare into the dark and imagine that all the spots floating in the dark were really the molecules of our world...and I could just see better than anyone else...come to find out, I couldn't see anything better than anyone and I was just blind as a bat. But I couldn't go the bathroom by myself at night for years because I could see panthers slinking up the hallway at me. Or snakes. Or wolverines. Or whatever Marty Stafford did Wild America on that week.

I got a night light when I was tiny that was a little praying girl, it is still in my old room at my parents house. I remember HOURS laying there looking at her. Usually comforted. Sometimes I laid there imagining that she was changing facial expressions and moving...sometimes I was convinced she had a mustache or was whispering to me...but fascinated by shadows and how everything looked different in the dark.

One of my favorite books was Bedtime for Frances and really identified with her fears in the dark...still do on a certain level.

I wish sometimes that we could see why God does things. Sometimes, I am SO thankful that we don't know why, because we wouldn't willing go along with his plan...to walk willingly, blindfolded is sometimes the best I can do. "Thy word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path"(Ps 119:105), not blinding daylight, a night light. We see enough in our life, before and in front, to know God loves us and will be with us. Not enough to know what God is about to ask of us...and frankly, that's a good thing. Sometimes the shadows are scarier, sometimes the things throwing those shadows are. But it is always better to be looking at the Night Light. Always.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Tiffany! I often weep when I read your blogs - and this one, especially, touched my soul. You challenge me! You torment me! You humble me - but always you bless me!

    I pray we both will always allow The Light to guide our steps!

    I love you, daughter dear!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tiffany, I am exactly the same way! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only adult with an over active imagination and therefore must have night lights on. I can not watch scary movies because of this. :) I love your blog! Thanks for sharing. I have spent too much time this morning reading past posts and saying, " I can so relate to that!"

    ReplyDelete