Saturday, October 17, 2009

Southerners and the C-C-C-Cold!

I'd like to defend a Southerner by choice and through my Papa, but a Yankee by can't adjust to the cold in 12 hours!!! Up north, they have this thing called fall, during which the temperature drops slowly over days, if not weeks...down here it'll drop by 25 degrees in an afternoon!!!!!! Nobody adjusts well that quick! If they say they do, they are lying and have a stash of long underwear and coats!!

I, furthermore, would like to address the ability for a southern town to shut completely down on the mere mention of snow. Now, I know y'all prideful yankees scorn this. After all you can drive 10 minutes of 3 feet of snow falling. This, despite your confidence, does not come from mad driving skills...this comes from the salt trucks and tire chains. In fact, if you don't believe me, check out the sides of the road for stranded vehicles when it has snowed pretty good down here...they are almost all displaced yankees. Down south, we have no snow equipment (at best, we get sand dumped on particularly bad spots) and we actually get a day or two off and get to enjoy the beauty and fun of snow, and then go back to work in normal driving conditions. Up north, you get NO time off, snow is not a novelty, nor a reason for smores over the gas range. So who is the more pitiful here?

I rest my case.


  1. and if I may add to your fine points, we often get a good layer of ice on the roads before the snow. So, it's not like driving on regular snow fall. We get serious black ice issues down here. Although delaying school for a couple of hours while it all melts might be one solution, it would keep us from buying snow clothes and sleds. So really we are just doing our part to support the Winter economy by taking a couple of days off.