Friday, October 16, 2009

Sleep

So I got the kids to school today. On TIME, no less. While this wouldn't be news in and of itself on a usual day, this morning we woke up 3 minutes before we usually leave for school. And I got Elise to school with a few minutes to spare.

It helps that Elise's dinosaur t-shirt was clean....and that she would happily live on crackers. She thought today was shaping up fabulously with it starting out like that!

Gabriel got to exercise his legal rights of staying home by himself and getting ready...he was pretty pleased by the results of the morning panic, too.

That said, I slept for about 6 hours last night...how luxurious! The last couple of weeks I've been limping along on virtually none. The girls were all dropped with a virulent virus. Gabriel and Ethan dodged it completely, and I got it in my lungs....no real divergence for me in the winter.

When I took the older girls to the pediatrician, I got blown off as to what they had because they got the symptoms "out of order" for the H1N1. When Elise went to the Endocrinologist and the Oncologist annual visit, they concluded that she had probably had it, as it was the only virus with these symptoms that proceeded to cause joint pain additionally. And, since when did getting sick run exactly the way you would like??

The joint pain was why Elise went to the pediatrician. Elise is either asleep or running. There is not much in between for her. And when she takes to shuffling about and complaining that she "hurts", you know that things are not right!

Amelia rocked a nasty temperature for about a week, and has declined eating. She is a skinny toddler and post this virus is looking epidemically waif-like. She has lived exclusively on Go-Gurt and it has gotten to the point, I would probably let her eat anything she asked for it!

Charlotte had a "quickie" fever and has progressed to the whining and pitiful stage and is in the holding pattern there.

This has hit us just after some friends lost their second child to cancer. Their oldest girl had cancer when Elise did. She didn't make it. At the time they thought she had a reasonably combat-able kind of cancer. Since then, they have discovered that she had ATRT, an incredibly aggressive form of cancer...that is also genetic. They have since had a son, Grant, who is Amelia's age, and another daughter, Annette, who was born in October 2008. Annette presented with the ATRT before her first Christmas and didn't make it to her first birthday.

After watching them fight twice...and lose, twice. The average flu just seems more like an answer to prayer...Grant does not have the genetic marker for the cancer that took his sisters...thank God. I am thankful that they have a dear baby to cuddle as they struggle with yet another brutal loss. But, I find myself angry at God for making them go through this valley once again. With loss again. I honestly believed that God was going to give them a miracle this time around, even up to the last. I am thankful that they are such godly people...I am thankful that God has wrapped his arms about them. But I am still flummoxed that God should ask this of them, again.

Yearly, I as I celebrate Elise's remission anniversary, I am struck by my blessings...and fight a bit of "survivors guilt". I got to keep my girl. Many do not. There is NO reason that I should get this blessing over someone else. By the time her birthday rolls around, I have spent countless nights pondering what Hayley or Maddy would look like if they had lived. What would their parents be doing to celebrate? If the girls would have grown up friends? If I would be as aware what a gift of GRACE each birthday is...among all my children. If I would be as thankful of colds and viruses...the lack emergency room visits, the lack of petechiae, the lack of panic. Knowing that Elise is 7, that she is on the developmental level below her 3 year old sister and that she may never move out, is worthy of praise and celebration...


That said, Elise is big into cooking right now and asked to make "brown cake" this week. She stirred and measured and glowed with pride. Who would of thought that cooking could be that cool?

We've had minimal Elise disasters lately...only ball-point pen incidents...sofa and Suburban...no really good ones. It's probably because she is recuperating from being sick...it's been fairly boring.

We are still waiting on her Thyroid results...but are expecting somewhat boring results.

And, as we have discovered, sometimes boring is good!

1 comment:

  1. Your posts are always such a rich blessing, Tiffany! You capture the essence of life's treasures and bring real perspective to the forefront of our minds. . . We are blessed beyond measure! Your words have a greater weight to them - because of the journey you have walked & I am blessed to be able to cheer you on in the "race set before you!"
    Your Mama

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